Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
