I skipped work to stalk him.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
