too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just want nice things and good sex
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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