What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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