yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
