it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
