I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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