She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
