No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
