Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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