Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's never too late to be topless.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
