She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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