i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
