Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
