I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
