hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
