Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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