so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
