Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she smelled like a LAN party
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
