fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
