I didn't shave. On purpose
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
