on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
