I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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