I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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