I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
