No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
