Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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