Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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