I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
