cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
