2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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