Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
