doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
worst night to have a conscience
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
