Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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