Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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