It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
