I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
