Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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