wrigley field is MILF paradise
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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