whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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