i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
