Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
