you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
