Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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