what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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