I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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