I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
