i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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