you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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