I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
